I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
