Im at strip club and am horny
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
