90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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