Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i drank out of a bidet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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