I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
