and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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