the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
