I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
