My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i will never coherently bang her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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