we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She needs sedatives and a leash
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
