He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
