My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
