Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
