he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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