She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
