How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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