My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
