We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just cut my nipple shaving
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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