I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we're so committed to being not committed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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