Umm I'm too high to move.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
