he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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