I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
