don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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