He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
