Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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