You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
