He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
