ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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