I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
