oh god the rape fog is back!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
