Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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