Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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