GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
