Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
