i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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