Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
