did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
