I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
