My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
