office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
