Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
