Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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