he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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