No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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