I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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