You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am available for nakedness
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
