Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
