so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my shit smells like andre
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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