She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
