so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
