We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
